Why does it have to be me?

How many of you have been through times when a question pops-up again and again in your mind- Why does it have to be me? Why does it happen to me all the times? Why do things go south every time I had expected them to turn out positively?

I find myself in the same predicament right now. I have no idea how to get myself out of this situation. All I know is the things are going south one after the other and are just getting worse. I could have tackled them one at a time but even before I could have a little respite of getting out of one of the problem or to adjust my mind to deal and live with one of the problem, I find another tragedy knocking my door.

Why does it have to be me? I had so many expectations of a bright future when I stepped out of my egg-shell, so many aspirations but it did not even take one second to realize that I have landed in the wrong place and now I am caught. I want to get out of here so badly but the more I want to escape, the more it tries to hold me harder. Where did I go wrong? Was listening to the advice of my parents the main point in the time where my decision went wrong and is it the consequence of that very decision which I have to bear? Where else did I go wrong?

How am I supposed to deal with it? I have tried accepting the things as they are but in vain. The future scares me even more. It feels like my life has been damned for a sin which I don’t even know to have committed. Even God seems to have been testing me brutally. This is not the place where I fit in. I have my dreams and aspirations and I want to live my life fulfilling those dreams. I have got one chance, one life to live those dreams and I want to do so. I cannot compromise with my dream at any cost. I want to be happy. Is it being too greedy? Is it too much to ask for? I don’t want to have any regrets in the future. I cannot let myself get stuck here but what am I supposed to do? The more I dream of transforming my life, the more hard it gets to live here and eventually the harder I try to get out of here. But I can’t. I don’t want to give up on my dream. Just let me go, just let me be free. I beg you. How long are you going to hold me. Every day is hard to bear. Why am I even alive?