Will we ever Meet again?

So much time has passed by, since we last met. I could never have imagined that there will come such a time when we will not see each other for months and years. Honestly, I knew that there would be such a time. We both knew but we never thought about it. At the very least, I can speak for myself because I am not sure about you.

Now that I think about it, a question seldom pops-up in my mind. Did I really know you? In fact, did we ever really know each other? It felt like we did but may be that was just a mirage. We hardly knew each other. I had a version of you in my mind. Maybe that was also you but not in your entirety. The same goes for how you saw me. What could have been the reason? Was it our over-confidence that made us belief that I have seen the ‘real-you in you’ and you have seen the ‘real-me in me’? Was it the shallowness of our relation or was it the very truth about the human nature that it is very dynamic and no one can be 100% of their real-selves before anyone? I do agree to the last fact, but still our knowledge about each other was shallower by any standards. I don’t know the reason precisely and frankly, neither do I want to stroll in the meadow of these irrelevant questions, for what use will it be of? What has been done is already in the past and what’s left is regret (or not?). The more you think about it, the more you could feel the shallowness of our bond which at least I thought was deep enough to last long. I don’t feel sad either, there is just some kind of unsaid regret within me. The regret of ever meeting you in the first place, then the regret of letting you be all by yourselves perhaps when you needed me the most. Also the regret of not bidding a proper farewell when it was the last chance for us to meet and bid our last good byes. However, we did not know at that time that we would never be meeting again. It was all a matter of chance that it turned out to be our last time together, which we both missed. Honestly, I don’t even remember when was the last time we met and hung out with each other. There are several memories of me hanging out with you, but I cannot remember the very last meeting we had. I cannot point to any moment in the maze of my memory with a sigh and call it the last time we met each other. Is it meant to be good? I am not sure, though. As for the last time we met, would the conditions have been different if we would have known that this is going to be our very last moment together? I am not sure about it either!

However, I can vividly recall the day when I was leaving. Though I was never meant to leave for good, in the first place, but still I did wait for you to come and see me and wish me the best for the endeavor I was going to have. However, you didn’t even call, let alone coming to see me off. But as usual, I understood! ( Actually this is the thing I hate about the version of me which you knew and I tried to be.)

I had a lot of time to think about all this in the past and the only thing I could conclude decisively is that we hardly knew each other. Maybe I was wrong to think that the very version of you that is in my mind is the real-you and maybe you were wrong to be over-confident to think that you have already gauged me in my entirety. We will never know why our bond was so shallow. Time has already taken its turn and may be it was because of the shallowness of our bond that it could not face the test of the time.

Now, we sit in two different corners of the world, completely ignorant of each other’s condition. Time is really something! Isn’t it? We may, at times, think about each other, or may be not. We may never get to meet each other, ever again. I am not sure about any of this but I am indeed sure about one thing- that I will always remember this past, as a lesson and as a refuge. The very version of you that I have in my mind, is still very much alive and it knows the real-depths of me and it will always be alive. At times, we come across some people and situations which teach us a lot. Those lessons should never be forgotten. I do realize the fact that I may never have the kind of bond we had, with anyone else and it, indeed, has its own merit and demerit. Merit being I would not like to have such pretentious and shallow bond with anybody but if fate played out well, I may get a chance to have something worthwhile, and the demerit being, I don’t really want to have anything to do with anyone now. I am done for good.

As for the question of getting to meet each other again, I would like to look forward to it. I am really curious to see how things will unfold then. However, the possibility of it ever happening is itself very distant, me seeing you face to face again, and that is why I would not like to keep my hopes high. Lastly, the question with which all this trail of thoughts began in the first place is in itself very absurd and embarrassing and no matter how hard I try I could never get an answer to it, for it is the very nature of the future to unfold in the most unprecedented way possible. We only have the capacity to be a mere sight-seer who can do nothing but see the fate unfolding. This entire trail of thoughts have brought be back to square one, to the very same question of which I don’t know the answer, or maybe I don’t want to know the answer because I am not even sure in what way I would like to see the future unfold- will we ever meet again? Will we……?